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Culprit D-Side
Title Speechless
Year 2003
Written by Simon Ellis and Shep Soloman
Submitted by Siegfried Baboon

A couple of hours before posting this debut single from D-Side, I was watching Top of the Pops and was amused to hear the presenter, Lisa Snowdon, say that the five-piece boy band from Ireland are "giving Westlife a run for their money". Ok, so she wasn't specifically referring to their penchant for truck driver's gear changes, but if they're targeting the same audience then they might as well use the same weaponry to do it.

A curious name, D-Side: it seems to combine the notion of an A-side or a B-side with that of a D-list celebrity, as if to say "this song is so bad it didn't even make it to the C-side". Then again, that CD-and-MiniDisc-buying target audience I was just referring to probably aren't familiar with the concept of the "side" (though I'm sure they do like to be beside the sea-side).

What on earth am I going on about?

Anyway, returning to the song, calling it "Speechless" is a bit of a gift to reviewers, but as far as the modulation is concerned, it's not really so bad. It just reinforces the feeling of a song which is not terrible, but bland and unmemorable – which is probably about the worst thing for a piece of music to be. Still, I'll certainly be listening out for D-Side's future releases, to see if they really do follow in Westlife's tyre tracks.

Listen to the MP3Listen!